The Table
An Analogy About Positioning, Writing, and Finding Your Voice
I’d like to introduce you to one of my favorite teaching tools that I use with clients. It’s an analogy I call, “The Table,” and I use it to help authors understand how their work fits into the broader conversation around their topic and identify what they have to contribute that is new, interesting, and original.
I struggled with this very problem for years. I’m such a fan of other people’s work, I felt I had nothing to say that would be valuable and interesting.
But that all changed when I figured out what table I wanted to sit at.
The Table: An Analogy
Imagine walking into a restaurant, where there are dozens of tables. People are gathered around each table laughing, debating, theorizing. Each table features a different conversation.
There’s a positive psychology table, where Carol Dweck, Angela Duckworth, Martin Seligman, and Maria Konnikova debate the power of our mindset to influence our lives. Next to that table is a workplace psychology table, where Adam Grant, Sheryl Sandberg, Anders Ericsson, Liz Wiseman, and Kim Scott discuss the benefits of being a beginner versus an expert. There’s a digital entrepreneurs table where Tim Ferriss, Pat Flynn, Mike Kim, Amy Porterfield, and Stu McLaren are chatting about automation and the role of AI in their businesses.
There are tables as far as the eye can see, all featuring different interesting conversations: finance and the best investment strategies, beauty and body in the media, the challenges and joys of being working moms, the role of faith in society. Just about anything you could imagine. And at all of these tables are seated a number of influencers and thought leaders who are shaping the conversation.
I walked into this restaurant, and I felt paralyzed for a long time. Which table did I want to sit at? A lot of the conversations around me felt interesting and enticing. I wandered around for years, listening and learning.
But I kept coming back to one table in particular. It was the “Books & Publishing” table. I heard Allison Fallon talking about the healing power of writing, and I heard Jeff Goins encouraging aspiring writers to claim their identity as a writer and do the work. I absorbed The Story Grid framework from Shawn Coyne and Tim Grahl. I listened to Steven Pressfield explaining how resistance works, and my eyes were opened.
This was the conversation that most fascinated and intrigued me. I was a planet caught in this star’s gravitational pull.
What table is like that for you?
Like me, it might take you a while to decide what table you want to sit at. That’s ok. You’re allowed to try out different tables—and you should. If and when you start getting bored at one table, move on.
You don’t have to stay committed to one table forever, even once you do decide where you want to contribute. You’re not chained there. But you should find the table that most interests you for a time—enough that you could stay there for a good long while. The one you have the most questions about. The one where the conversation is most robust and exciting, in your opinion. Find the conversation and the people that you want to be a part of.
Listen to what everyone else is saying, and make friends.
When you settle in, get oriented to the conversation. Listen to what everyone is saying. It might be confusing at first, but you’ll catch on. Learn the lingo. Know that this person holds these perspectives, and that person always talks about X.
Analogy aside, this means reading lots and lots of books on that topic, and interacting with the other authors and thought leaders who are writing about it. I can’t stress enough the importance of reading and knowing the other people who are writing about your topic of interest. Theirs are the other voices that your audience is listening to. You need to know what they’re saying so that you can keep up with your audience.
I know many authors who view the other voices at their table as competition. They’re afraid to speak too loudly, lest someone else at the table “steal” their idea.
That’s ridiculous.
You need the other people at your table. You want them to pressure-test your ideas. You want to make sure you know what views they hold, so you can respond intelligently to them.
These are also the people who will best advocate for you and your ideas, even if they disagree with you. Yes, it’s true. I know lots of authors who speak on the same topics, even who disagree with each other, and yet they all endorse each other’s books, because they’re friends.
Stop thinking of the other voices there as your competition. They are now your best allies and comrades, bonded by your shared passion for this conversation. You’re all at that table because you share a common passion.
Start adding to the conversation.
The amount of time you spend listening to the conversation will vary by person. Some people might plop themselves down, listen for a minute, and immediately start joining in. Others might take months, maybe years, before they feel confident enough to start interjecting.
So here’s the critical question: What do you actually say?
Begin by asking questions.
Warren Berger is the author of A More Beautiful Question and has made a living as a “questionologist.” Warren usually likes to sit at the technology and innovation table, but his role there is to ask questions and explore the role of questions themselves. He also points out how other people ask questions at other tables for maximum impact.
When we ask questions, we make everyone else think deeper. So ask away. Poke holes in others’ assumptions. Challenge binary thinking. Questioning just might be your unique and incredibly valuable contribution.
Put forward your brave “maybe.”
But you don’t have to stop there. When you ask a question, take a stab at answering it, too!
And here’s where we get to the root of what I think is holding most people back.
A lot of aspiring writers think they have to have it all figured out before they put an idea out there. You don’t. Learn the art of the brave “maybe.” As in, “Maybe the answer is…” or “Maybe the reason X is happening is because of Y…”
The best writers don’t let perfect be the enemy of done. They venture forth with an idea, even if it’s half-baked—maybe especially if it’s half-baked!—because they know that offering up an idea to your friends at the table will only make it better.
Make connections between ideas.
One of my favorite articles of all time is “How Elon Musk Learns Faster and Better Than Everyone Else.” Regardless of his recent downward spiral, the man’s a genius. He’s the master of the brave “maybe.” As author Michael Simmons explains, here’s how he does it:
He reads widely in a lot of different fields, like physics, aerospace engineering, science fiction, biology, chemistry, technology. In other words, he spends a lot of time eavesdropping on different tables’ conversations!
He tries to apply the principles he learns in one field to another field. So let’s say he reads a book on biology, and he decides to try applying some of the principles and ideas to technology. You might end up with something like his neural lace idea.
Essentially, Elon makes connections between different ideas to see what happens.
This process of learning principles and then applying them in new contexts is called learning transfer, and I think it’s one of the most valuable skills writers can learn. One of my authors, Julie Stern, writes extensively about it.
You can do this easily by asking yourself: How does this relate to that?
This is why I encourage you to listen in on other conversations often. Read widely. You may be surprised at what you learn and the connections you can make at the table where you want to be heard. Often you can offer something unique and different by combining the insights from one table to a new table.
Start small.
You don’t have to start with something jaw-droppingly profound. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Remember, you’re going to be here for a while. You’ve got time to build your ideas. So start small.
Maybe this looks like posting on social media, or writing a blog post. Maybe it starts with a private email to a friend before you venture it out in public. That’s fine. Start small, and let it grow from there as you become more confident.
Here’s what I know to be true. Everyone has some wisdom to share with the world. Rest assured in that truth, and let your confidence take root. Remember not to hold too tightly to your ideas, but to invite a conversation. Stop thinking of yourself as an “expert” who has to have all the answers, and instead think of yourself as a conversational thought partner on this intensely interesting topic.
You’ll have so much more to say, the conversation will be so much richer, and people will love joining you at your table.
More for You
We’re still having this conversation.
Jane Friedman clears up all the misconceptions about platform. If you find yourself thinking any of these things:
I have to grow my platform by dancing on TikTok.
I have to have a huge social media following to sell my memoir or novel.
Platform = social media.
…then you need this article most of all.
Ally Fallon on leaving traditional publishing.
I see this happening more and more - authors I deeply respect, authors I want to be like, are leaving the traditional publishing space in terms of hybrid or self-publishing. In this podcast episode, Ally explains her reasons, and it’s well worth a listen!
What’s Bringing Me Joy
My husband and I are changing things up in our house: moving ourselves into a new bedroom, creating a play space for the kiddos, and moving our guest bedroom around. It’s a lot of work (and mess!), but also a lot of fun to splash a new coat of paint on and bring a sense of freshness and positive change to our house. It’s also a good excuse for us to purge a lot of the extra stuff we’ve acquired in the last six years. It’s prompting some fresh thinking and creativity in me around some old projects, too!
What can you do to freshen up an old idea?
Happy weekend, writers!
Ariel
Just love this analogy and these reminders. It sounds so fun to refresh the house to get you into the body space, also!
I keep coming back to the picture book table. I love the conversations that are taking place and the impact picture books make on children and adults. I love the challenge of using the fewest words to make the biggest impact.
We’ve had to do a rearrange too with the recent loss of extra attic space. I think yours sounds like much more fun!