Are You Ready to Start Something New?

Tips for getting through the hard stuff to the good stuff

In the last few years, I have had the honor… and the challenge… of starting many new things.

• I started a business!

• I helped my husband start a new service business as well.

• I started ghostwriting entire manuscripts—a big shift from editing and coaching. 

• And each book is itself a new thing; no one has ever written their next book before.

• I became a mom for the first time last October. 

• I co-wrote my own book and went through the publishing process for the first time as an author.

• My husband and I started learning West Coast swing, when we’ve previously always danced East Coast—and the two are way more different than we expected!

• Most recently, I rejoined the corporate world as an editor at Sourcebooks, where I’ve learned entirely new norms, systems, processes, protocols, and expectations.

You’ve probably had a lot of “new” things in your life lately, too. I know people who have recently:

• Gone on book tour!

• Started a new relationship

• Ended a relationship

• Gotten a puppy (brave soul)

• Fostered kittens with medical needs

• Started a new job

• Traveled to a new country

• Pitched themselves for a new type of client/project

• Moved to a new state

• Started writing in a new genre

In some ways, this is just life, right? A constant hurdle of “new” thrown at us all the time. Whether or not we asked for it, doing something new can be every bit as exhausting as it might be exciting.

So if we want to succeed, we have to get really good at being “new” at things. 

Doing something new is a skill in itself.

Often when we start a new thing, we start it with a vision of what the end result will look like. We imagine the happy times, the possible achievements, the Instagram snapshots. 

But we forget that it will most likely take a lot of work to get there. And then—when we’re smacked in the face with all of that work to do, we’re surprised and disappointed. WHAT? It’s not supposed to be like this!!

No matter how excited we are about something new, we have to remember that embarking on any new endeavor will come with all of the hazards of new-ness:

• Mistakes

• Unfamiliar language/references

• Unspoken expectations or knowledge that everyone else seems to have and you don’t have

• Lack of shared history and trust with the new people you meet

• Feelings of frustration, imposter syndrome, overwhelm, and inferiority based on all of the above

Doing something new is hard. Guess what. Writing a book is hard too! 

I know well the look in an author’s eyes when I explain to them the process for traditionally publishing a nonfiction book:

• Come up with a great idea.

• Establish a platform/audience.

• Practice writing sample chapters.

• Draft a proposal.

• Pitch to agents and/or editors.

• Wade through rejections. 

• Wait while a team of people who don’t know you debate whether your pitch has enough merit to warrant a massive investment in you. 

• And then, if you’re offered a contract, write the rest of the book!!

Throughout this process, authors are walking through an absolute gauntlet of newness that would be intimidating to anybody. I have definitely felt all of the emotions that come with this—frustration, imposter syndrome, overwhelm, inferiority, and more—as I’ve gone through each new situation in my life over the last three years.

So if you’re starting something new, I wanted to share a few things I’ve learned to help me persist through the hard work, the difficult learning curve, and all of the emotions that come with them! 

(Hint: These tips are great if the “new” thing in your life you’re doing is writing a book!)

Breathe.

Seriously. Take slow deep breaths whenever you feel overwhelmed and anxious. 

Rest and take breaks.

Sleep lots. Take melatonin if you need it. Take a break by watching your favorite TV shows. Give yourself grace to escape from the new thing for a while.

Expect mistakes (and don’t beat yourself up).

I admit; this advice is hard for me to take. I hate making mistakes. I was able to get by for a long time by avoiding things I was bad at and only taking on things I knew I would be good at. That doesn’t work so well anymore, and as a result I’ve had to grow my tolerance for my own ineptitude—and learn to give myself grace. 

One thing that helps is that I see mistakes as moments of suffering—and suffering deserves compassion. When you make a mistake, remember that you are suffering, and offer yourself the same grace you would give someone else who is suffering.

Ask for help.

If there is something that you are truly stuck on, you only hurt yourself more by staying silent about it. Ask for help early and often. If you’re an author who needs help, let me know and I’d love to refer you to one of my book coach friends!

Explain what you’re doing to someone else.

Similarly, I find that when I’m starting something new (especially with my new job!), it helps to be super transparent about how you’re thinking about it and tackling challenges as they arise. That way, if you’re getting off base, someone can help you course-correct before you royally mess up. I’ve gotten much better at saying, “Here’s a challenge I’m seeing, and how I’m thinking about it. Is that what you would do?” or “This is what I’m planning to do next. Does that sound right to you?” 

Commiserate with someone safe.

As it so happens, my husband also started a new job a couple weeks after I did, and it’s been so nice being able to compare notes, encourage each other, and give each other grace as we both navigate these big transitions. 

For authors, finding a writing group or writing buddy on social media can be a huge relief!

Seek out resources.

There’s no need to reinvent the wheel. Someone else has been in your exact shoes before, so find that person (or that book, or that online course, or that conference) and learn from them! 

For authors, there’s one resource that I humbly recommend, and it just so happens to be coming on Tuesday…

Hungry Authors: The Indispensable Guide to Planning, Writing, and Publishing a Nonfiction Book

It is hard to believe that after so much preparation—literally over two years of dreaming and working and feeling new—Hungry Authors is almost officially here. 

And so, in the spirit of continuing to be new, I’m here asking for your help! Some of you already have your copies—thank you!! And if you haven’t ordered it yet, it’s not too late to preorder and grab the preorder bonuses as well.

Here are some other ways you can help:

• If you read the book, leave us an honest review on Amazon or Goodreads. (Amazon will let you starting Tuesday, the official pub date!)

• Share a picture of yourself holding the book on social media! Take a look at these posts from Kent, Brian, Cynthia, and Mitch for amazing examples.

• Grab anything you want from our media kit to help spread the word. 

• Join us for a virtual book toast hosted by our friend Merideth Hite Estevez of Artists for Joy at 3p ET on Tuesday. (Here’s the Zoom link for your calendar!)

Thank you for encouraging me in this endeavor. I hope that Hungry Authors is everything YOU need as you embark on something new. 

With love,

Ariel